Manifold was playing up so I had to list each edition manually 0.02 eth
This piece is important... because it may be my last. The best journey of my life, 'NFT's/cryptoart' I can't believe it's came to this. 12 months ago sitting on around $1mill, not a care in the World just creating art day and night. Ironically nothing changed from day 1 in 2018 to now... it has always been about the art but like most the lessons of capitalism has gotten the better of me.
For anyone to understand we need to go way back to understand why I would make such stupid mistakes.
Many years before NFT's me and my gf got chased by some asswipes with knives in our local city center. I wasn't that fazed after a few days thinking it over but little did I know this would shape so much of my life to date. Like most, my friends dissipated as my relation-ship got serious which in a lower class area as a male isn't great. I lost all my backup, how would I ever deal with 5/6 knife wielding thugs targeting me on my own? I guess it's better to die a hero than live in shame or become a villain. You see I had no real skill, backing, equity, education just a loner in love looking for peace and too stupid to just work his way to a better life. These circumstances made me start gambling, looking for desperate cash to get away from this area, anyone worth knowing already left. I mean fuck sake if it was me and some boys riding with my life on the line fuck it, I'm ready for that door in life, nobody cheats death. In this circumstance facing demons wasn't an option with my gf so lets move away to better life, let's gamble fuck it we don't have anything anyway but pocket change and dreams.
...many years later, running shitty night jobs and constantly losing every penny I ever got and falling into many different types of debt I realized I was just an addict wasting my life. But I couldn't give up, this was more than my shitty worthless life, I wanted both of us to get out together. I went back to university at 25/26 years old to study 'Visual commun-ications' a hybrid degree between graphic design and illustration. At first I was mostly concerned with getting my student finance money to go gamble lol and I do waste that shit, but I learnt something new about myself, symbolism and visual communication's was fucking fun. I had a natural act for making a finer art of graphic design, didn't know how to apply this at that time because design agencies wanted a rigid style... just cheap graduates to be robots working endless hours following creative orders. Those shackles really turned me off employment, I knew id rather be broke and die that walk that path so I did nothing. Continued on my self-destructive path of gambling chasing dreams, dwelling in the depths of the darkest web and exploring and learning shite for the sake of it. The World is full of lies, I learnt too young the matrix, the veil that is a commercial capitalist structure was all a Sherrard... is there a way out? Honestly I saw nothing but death... every fucking day for years sleeping 15 hours a day wishing I wouldn't wake up. Even when I saw bitcoin in the early day on my rounds online in 2009/2010 I thought "this will never work, the sheep won't wake up, the powers that pull the levers of the media, politics etc will stop it somehow". However after university ended, around two years later I wasn't even gambling.... developed a few health issues and at that point depression went to planning. I fanaticized day and night for maybe a year... "how would I end my life, what happens if i do, who does it effect, why would I do it over dedicating my life elsewhere". I realized my debt would be passed on living with my parents so after long sleeps I would wake to seek ways online to pay off my debts which was only around 5k at that time. I decided to search how to make some money with graphic design work into crypto. This was around 2018, I stumbled on knownorigin and I was like.... THIS IS FUCKING INSANE. The idea of making digital originals online that could be sellable... I had to try this. Sold shit for 2/3$ a piece and was hooked. Not by the money, infact I never cashed I just made nfts all year and realized I fount what I was missing. My discovery of art in uni now had a place to evolve. Somehow this new thing fount me at my lowest low, I truly believe cryptoart saved my life, I know for certain if I had'nt have fount this it was a matter of time before I finally grew some balls and ended it.
So now we have NFT's and we like the meduim/structure... things are good right? Well no I still had that 5k debt to work through and a gambling problem. I continued to gamble as options arose in crypto... but somehow managed to put the passion of art above everything and paid off the bs debts, then covid hit. Honestly covid didn't change anything for me, I had no life, I had nothing but my computer and I was content with this. The only downside to covid was I was trapped, I couldn't move out of the UK to save on taxes so as soon as restrictions ended in 2020/21 I moved to The Isle of Man. I don't regret it however at this time damage was already done, 6 figure earnings and 6 figure tax bills and I'm still hodling ETH at 4k. I cash in once moved which helps me avoid extra capital gains costs however a 45% income tax, 10% capital gains and national insurance saw 60%+ of my high earnings taken! Fucking glad I moved out of the UK. Savages. The Isle of Man is capped at 20% income tax, no capital gains and no inheritance tax. FUCK YEAH LFG... however where theirs no capital gains theirs no capital losses... meaning if ETH is 4k and I earn 1 ETH then it drops to 1k and I'm still holding the ETH I will receive a bill for $800 on my $1,000. To add another layer I hadn't really faced the gambling problem....I had accumulated around 800k USD in 4 years and held the whole time... as ETH began to drop I panicked and started gambling on stake.com. I lost around 600k of everything... what a fucking moron I am.. but it's ok you kept enough to pay taxes, enough to pay rent, you're good... my curtail mistake was not cashing it in because ETH proceeded to drop and that 200k was now worth 50k in ETH. My life outgoing, rent, electric, gas, food, wifi etc is around 12k a year... but I would have to pay 20% on 800k + national insurance 5k so we were looking at a bill of 65k+ ish.... but I had 50k and had to continue to pay rent etc. I actually battled through this issue and got to even but it all started to catch up again. I hadn't paid my student finance during those high earnings period so they backdated me a 27k bill. These past two year have been FUCKING BRUTAL. bill after bill and the whole time NFT's have somehow funded it. It's actually a fucking miracle I've gotten this far.
Now were running out of time, theirs only so many times you can push things back. The market is shite but I've done all I can do to make a piece that defines my feelings at this time, the piece is 0.02 eth and theirs 1,000 editions. Honestly I think I deserve to drown, I made my bed now I should lye in it... but something screams inside of me "over 40k, I don't fucking think so you've got a lot more skills to learn and a lot more to show".
So yeah there it is, that's how all this happened, if there's one thing I've proven by the blockchain my art is worth it and I don't quit. My values are strong and I will be a better version moving, currently seeing help over gambling issues and a psychiatrist. I believe this is a turning point I just need to break out of this hole for fkn good, ill do anything to not have to go back to the start of the above. Please consider scooping an edition, I worked hard on the piece, It should speak for itself at 0.02 eth.
Hyperreality, our time of NFT, financial institutions and self protection. This is a rework of "La Bacchante" by William Bouguereau which depicted a ram attacking a woman. Times have changed, hyper-real surrealism to define our time.
Help The Janitor make his dreams come true by scooped an NFT card which will send him to WSOP 2023.
‘What I Must Become & Kill That I Cannot’
I must become darker to overcome my demons, they don't appear in the shadows and with these blockchains I will save our World from them.
This piece is an response to banking control of our digital space.
My first mixtrack added to an NFT. One that tells a story of our future.
‘Cleanup Minds Eye’
Transitioning from Robocops first awakening as a conversion of human to android representing humanities current affairs, neurolink, metadata, digital consciousness and extension of ourselves to begin. It will spiral and compound so fast with A.I before you know it, you'll be gone. Moving into silence and Simba from The Lion King shouting for help "somebody...anybody" because their wont be anybody around you. This is a reference to the animal kingdom, innocence in nature with a subdued reference to myself and England. Lions being the symbol of England and the lost youthful nature of Simba in his singular brave yet fragile and lonely existence. From there shots are fired, war begins with 'the construct' is all left after WW3. From there we see a huge varied amount of cleanup requests that somehow don't feel human even thought they appear as such. These "isles" will exist as like plains, realms or dimensions. They will appear all the same but have distinct differences in value stylistically in their code. You will feel that code no different than the hair on the back of your neck. You're last human ability to combat A.I is to become a digital janitor. One of real abstract nature to walk amongst each isle and clean/create and adapt how you choose.
This is a reality to come for humanity.
The Janitor's Closet
We launched on March 1st and now closing on half sold.
Great, so what's the point?
I pondered on how can a large quantity NFT/art project possibly uphold it's value throughout an artists entire career? These projects rise so fast and lose their legs... relying on hype as dopamine or community values to sustain some sort of loyalty which would inevitably run out with time/social adaption or causality. How can a persons core continue inside this digital evolution without seeing a face, without communicating beyond text with our already programmed reptilian brains.
Beyond the disconnect of human nature there is the other trailing issue of money. The upscaling demand for profit that was initiated through the initial flaw of capitalism in the first place but also Aladdin and BlackRocks grasp in our modern structure and corporate requirements. But that's for the deep dwellers to squabble over, how does an artist have a life long NFT career, make their investors profits and nobody lose? Sounds impossible right? No not really. I'm going to try.
Engineering a balance between digital marketing, artist streaming and collectors/investors.
It's a very simple concept, artists leverage the ability to earn advertising revenue through streaming to balance the books. Because nomatter how you look at this "game" of selling nft's someone has to lose funds. However advertising budgets simply demands your eyes. I would certainly use twitch and watch 4/5 ads amongst an artists journey here and there to be supportive... which would in turn support the collector. Because when the artist gets those funds they can continue their creativity, make art shows, buy artworks of other artists, maybe even set up some kind of revenue share with the nft holders. The collective doesn't have to lose, it sustains everyone whilst being entertaining and continuing content with less values on the bottom line.
You all should know me by now if you're reading this, cryptoartist since 2018, nothing to show for it in a conventional sense but large tax bills, debt and overhead. I've tasted the unsustainability of nft's for all their glories worth in bear market, which ARE inevitable also. I don't desire fame, wealth, holidays, lambos. If I could choose a life it would be one of Francis Bacon's to nestle myself in a studio space and create away in my own quirky little depressed existence...surly some of that is worth seeing in real time? Or you could go back to Netrix.
Sounds Boring Gary.
I remember way back when I was studying graphic design, Stefan Sagmeister's studio in New York had a webcam in the top corner of the office. 24/7 live streaming the office at work and I was absolutely captivated, nothing really was even happening. The office itself wasn't anything amazing and yet there was something worth watching in the changes that occurred in an environment foreign to most. Artists are a weird bunch huh, there is some gold there, undefined and measured in all of us to share. All I know is this sounds like a fun avenue to explore, the mechanics are laughable I know... but the journey and attempt has value. These moments are but bullet-points in our lives and something stuck when I saw this many years ago. I want to do this as an artist and regardless of the mechanical outcome which I give no promises.
So that is what I will do as these sell out. Invest in a space where I can joyfully indulge in physical art, live stream doing so, genuinely connect in that process and hopefully find some digital/physical mechanics between streaming, making physical art, being the janitor I am and making some connection between words, artists and viewers.